The First Day of Civilization

It's official. Tomorrow I return to work. In fact, as we speak I have an actual deliverable in an actual inbox at my new email address. True, it's only a part-time gig, but considering my four month hiatus from the workplace and hence society, I'm starting to feel the proverbial butterflies in my belly. Will I be good? Or should I say, will I get fired and have to deal with unemployment again? Will I like it? Will it be super stressful? While I remember how to read, write or speak verbal coherent strings of words? It's a whole new set of questions to replace the never-ending hypothetical scenarios that kept me company as an unemployed person. Either way you slice it, uncertainty is trippy. And so is being the new kid, no matter how old you are.

It may sound conceited, but when I resigned from my old job I left on top of the heap. My boss loved me, I had plenty of friends, and I had all the status, salary and security one craves from a professional environment.

Now it's back to the bottom of the heap, back to proving myself, back to slowly building those relationships of trust and respect that take so much gentle care to build. It's going to be an adjustment. I remember what a brutal struggle it was to get to the top the first time and hope this won't be like that.

Looking back though, I am proud to say I stayed true to why I resigned from my job in the first place. Tomorrow I will start a job that has all the important qualities my old one lacked: new creative skills, cooler projects and clients, authority, autonomy, and a stepping stone to a more creative career in the future. It doesn't look how I thought it would, but it feels right. It's time to kiss my four month Craigslist coma goodbye and rejoin civilization. I just hope I can remember how to talk.

A Hidden Way to Tell if A Job is Right for You

Job shadowing and parachute colors are great, but I have a theory on another way to tell if a job is right for you. A good indicator of your future job satisfaction is how much you enjoy applying for it. After all, the application is pretty much a petri dish for the future job, so it's a good indicator of if you will enjoy the job itself.

First off, do you like the writing in the ad? Do the core values speak to you? When you are completing the application, is it fun and challenging? If so, the job will probably be fun and challenging. When you complete the job application, is it boring and stressful? Then the job will probably be boring and stressful. Tempted to stretch the truth on the app? Get ready to bring your inner Pinnochio on full-time. Find yourself trying to talk yourself into why the job is good for you? Prepare to do the same pep talk every morning and evening on your commute for the rest of the time you work at this job.

It's not rocket science. But the citizens of the floating world of Unemployment can use all the signposts they can get, and I think this is an apt one. Consider the application, your "first date" with a new job. Pay attention to how you feel throughout it, and you'll have a good indicator of whether it's time to fish or cut bait!

The Dream Duel

My fellow Lady of Leisure gets back from Hawaii today, and we are foresworn to engage in a "dream duel." For the past week we were both supposed to ponder and articulate our life's dream. Then we were going to count to three, turn and utter them aloud, hence the dueling part. 

What I have figured out is not that much different than what I had before, but I've tried to turn it from vague to articulated. While it's true I left my last job to write a novel, the overarching reason was to live a more creative life in general.  Yet it seems like even though I am committed to cranking out a clever opus, my fickle eye keeps straying to the unemployment crack that is Craigslist. Is it just "cold hands"? Or should I try and get a job?  The goal of living a more creative life leaves plenty of room for interpretation, and therein lies the trouble. 

The biggest thing I've been asking myself as we prepare to draw a line in the sand is: do I want to get a job out of fear, or out of desire? The answer to that is, depends. I've told myself all along that if I got a really good yummy creative job offer, I should definitely take it. On the other hand, I should not take any sub-par job just to be employed.

So here's what I'm going to change: I'm going to stop living my life in "but what if I get a job?" mode. I am going to start embracing creativity, commitments, and life in general now, and stop turning down opportunities because I'm worried about what the future holds. 

So, I'm going to start volunteering. I am going to learn Photoshop, and eventually screenplay writing and videography. I am going to write and maintain this blog. I am going to continue trying to take a picture everyday to ensure life is not passing me by. I am going to work on my novel full speed ahead and treat it with the respect and reverence it deserves. And I am going to do everything I can to help make Ladies of Leisure a thriving LLC, or whatever business-y thing it can be.

There only remans one thing I'm not sure of. My lingering question is: Should I get a leetle part time job? I am the most working class person you'll ever meet, which at times clashes with my bohemian instincts. I'm always tempted to take a little job, although the happiest times of my life were when I was living on less and not working. Still, I think the answer is the same: if it is creatively fulfilling, yes. If it is just a soul-sucker to pay the bills, no.

Whew! Thanks my silent shareholders. I feel a million times better now that I have that established. Now all I have to do is make sure to do it! En garde!