The First Day of Civilization

It's official. Tomorrow I return to work. In fact, as we speak I have an actual deliverable in an actual inbox at my new email address. True, it's only a part-time gig, but considering my four month hiatus from the workplace and hence society, I'm starting to feel the proverbial butterflies in my belly. Will I be good? Or should I say, will I get fired and have to deal with unemployment again? Will I like it? Will it be super stressful? While I remember how to read, write or speak verbal coherent strings of words? It's a whole new set of questions to replace the never-ending hypothetical scenarios that kept me company as an unemployed person. Either way you slice it, uncertainty is trippy. And so is being the new kid, no matter how old you are.

It may sound conceited, but when I resigned from my old job I left on top of the heap. My boss loved me, I had plenty of friends, and I had all the status, salary and security one craves from a professional environment.

Now it's back to the bottom of the heap, back to proving myself, back to slowly building those relationships of trust and respect that take so much gentle care to build. It's going to be an adjustment. I remember what a brutal struggle it was to get to the top the first time and hope this won't be like that.

Looking back though, I am proud to say I stayed true to why I resigned from my job in the first place. Tomorrow I will start a job that has all the important qualities my old one lacked: new creative skills, cooler projects and clients, authority, autonomy, and a stepping stone to a more creative career in the future. It doesn't look how I thought it would, but it feels right. It's time to kiss my four month Craigslist coma goodbye and rejoin civilization. I just hope I can remember how to talk.